SPEAKER_01 0:00

Every group has what I do, right? Has somebody in that group. And so I had to start one, had to start one from scratch with you. And um that was that was an experience of like, okay, I know I need it. How do I do it?

SPEAKER_00 0:17

All right, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Connections That Matter, where we have conversations with Northern Colorado's best networkers. And today I have my good friend Ryan Cox on the show, who have uh him and I have networked a couple of different arenas. And uh Ryan, tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Uh Andrew and I go back about six years, seven years, right? Um, so a little bit different background for me. Um, I grew up in northeastern Oklahoma, um, a farm kid, sort of, um, but uh grew up in a law enforcement family. Mom's in the medical field and uh moved here just before high school and left for the military after I graduated. Um so kind of my wife and I hit our 25th anniversary this year, so that'll be in June. Uh 19-year-old daughter off playing soccer in college and a 16-year-old son that's like every other 16-year-old kid, uh, challenging us daily, but he's a good kid. So uh super excited to be here and uh chat business with you today.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Yeah, well, um uh let's talk about transitions because you know, my kids, uh my my daughter's just about to uh she's in driver's ed. So watch out, Colorado. Uh, we'll have a new driver on the road. But um, if you got one that's 19, one at 16, um, let's talk about being a business owner and a and a dad that's trying to mold your kids. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Uh I have a I mean, my my background's a little bit different. Like I said, a former military guy and then law enforcement. So growing up when my kids were little, I spent a lot of time, you know, working holidays, working vac uh birthdays, not taking a ton of vacation trips, always on call. So shifting business as I as they got older um seven years ago into the industry I do now. I I was looking for something, I needed something to change, but I wanted to do something where I could continue to serve people. So I think that was a huge focus of mine. Um, going through, uh, opened up a business where I was a youth athletic training coach, uh, spent a lot of time certified and spent hours and hours and hours training kids in the gym uh after quitting being a state trooper. I was a narcotics canine handler before that, uh, after leaving the military. And that that lifestyle was just different, right? And then I went into being a business owner and uh really had to learn how to network, learn learn how to grow a business. Uh, just massively different experience of being on call, knowing what you had to do and going to work, and then having to build a business from scratch, right? Um, went into business for myself, uh, had some things happen with that and a business partner, uh, and then you know, had to shift into what I do now and really wanted to find something I could serve people, uh, continue to put other people first. And that that just feels like a calling to me in my life. And so having kids transition through all of that with me has been awesome. Um, having, you know, having a wife with somewhat of a stable income. But um, you know, even even her career has had to change as we've adapted as a family and shifted careers and changed, um, going from making a steady paycheck to to zero, right? Being 100% commission, um, building that business up to huge success, or at least it felt like huge success. And then all of a sudden, so the foundation sort of left you and you had to start over again. Um, and so it allows me in that process to not only teach my kids, but it allows me as a networker to understand where people are coming from. Because a lot of times in networking, you're meeting a lot of people that are like, how do I get started? What do I do? What is networking going to do for me? Uh and I just think that's so important to understand how it's a tool of your business. Uh, and both of my kids have grown up through that. So I think, you know, obviously my daughter off in college is trying to decide whether she wants to go into medical or she wants to be an attorney. Those are two big avenues there, but um, huge opportunity for her and all those things that we can coach her through, right? We've we've utilized sports in her life as a way to get where she wants to go on scholarship. But now she's trying to figure out what that next avenue is. And we're gonna be able to help her and help my son build businesses, right? That's the legacy that I really, now that I've gone through it, we know how to do it, super confident in that. Networking's been an absolute critical piece to that, uh, as far as a tool in my toolbox. But it's a it's an avenue that I can teach them. I can have them have access to, hey, dad's been here, I know how to do this. Um, and so when you're ready, we're gonna be able to jump right in and get you going. And I think that's just uh it's an invaluable tool that I now have. Um, but networking, whether, you know, it doesn't matter what networking group you're a part of, right? As a business owner, uh, you and I have had this discussion multiple times. It's absolutely critical that you walk into every room as if you own it. You're there for a reason. Uh, it's important that you believe that because that resonates with those people around you. Um, and so if you walk in unconfident or or nervous, people pick up on that, right? And and one of two things is gonna happen. They're gonna walk away from you because they they translate that sort of aura as lack of confidence or out of out of place, um, or they sort of take advantage of that situation a little bit um when it comes to just business in general. They'll they'll over-dominate the conversation, right? So you learn very quickly, or you should, right? That to be a really good networker, you have to open your ears, right? In this situation here, obviously we're having a conversation, but I think in networking in general, it's listen more than you speak, right? Open up the conversation, allow them to tell you their story because that's that's what translates into business, right? And from a transition for my kids, that's really been super important, not only in in business, but as a parent, right? The older my kids have got, the more I've realized like dad needs to shut up from time to time and and listen, right? Um, which is super hard sometimes, right? Um, to to really let them say their piece.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

So what are the some things you learned when you were state patrol? You talk about how service people I imagine your interactions with people are either on one, either a really good or a really bad day. Uh um but to to even that out uh with um any tips that you would that would could apply to networking from based on your experience?

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Yeah, I mean, my background is psychology, first and foremost. Uh that's what I went to college for. Um, human behavior psychology is is it's what we do every single day, right? And and in the the line of narcotics work and in state patrol stuff, I I had a personal rule of I when I made a traffic stop and I met somebody, I had to be able to diagnose the situation. I gave myself 60 seconds, right? There's legal precedence there of being able to know what your next steps are very quick and do it in a legal fashion, right? So you get to read people very quickly. And a lot of times that's just on how they react to a conversation. Uh and so the difference there is I'm making a judgment call very quickly, good or bad. And a lot of that can be determined on how they react to me or how they're having a conversation. Um, and when you're looking at that from a networking side of things, now you take the the law enforcement hat off, and now you're just running a business. Um again, it's going back to listen, it's figuring out are they being honest with me? What it what are they trying to tell me that they're not really comfortable with? Uh, what I realized very quickly is that, you know, uh when you're talking about people's futures and goal setting and that kind of stuff, it's an uncomfortable conversation. Not everybody wants to let you in on what they have going on. Uh, and a lot of times people want to act like they're better than they are, right? They put on this persona. Uh, and unfortunately, when we put on that persona, a lot of times as business owners, um, you can either rub people the wrong way or um you you can sort of push away a relationship that doesn't really get a chance to get started, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Yeah, how do you how do you create the freedom to let it even begin?

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Um, I think you just take it case by case, right? Because everybody's gonna react differently. Everybody's going to approach a conversation differently. Um, and so what I've learned is I you have to walk into the conversation super confident, but you also have to let them have the freedom to understand this is a this is a judgment-free zone, right? I don't expect you to be perfect. I don't expect you to have all my answers, right? It can be uncomfortable for a minute. Um, and sometimes it really is. Sometimes it's super awkward from time to time, but you have to give people the freedom to understand that that's normal. Um, and and I think by letting them know that it doesn't have to be perfect, it's gonna be awkward from time to time. Uh, and converse conversations can be uncomfortable and that's normal in life. Um, I think the premise there is I want everybody to know that I care about them. That's why I'm there. Uh, I am there to serve them, um, whether it's networking or client relationship. Um, but my job there is to really get to know them as best I can and understand where they're coming from so that I can help them. And that that translates into networking so much because in networking, uh, in my experience, doesn't matter what the group is, if you show up expecting return right away, it pushes people away. Um, because everybody feels like I'm just here to get sold, right? I don't want to sell you on me. I want to get to know you. If I can get to know you, I'm gonna give you business nine times out of ten before you're gonna give me a dime. Uh before you ever have lunch with me. We're gonna go, right? Um, and so I'm gonna go and I'm gonna share my business. I've got, you know, buddies of mine that uh, you know, one in owns an indoor simulator. I've got a chiropractor, right, that that I just actually just had lunch with, right? And the whole hour that we were sitting there, we just talked life, right? It wasn't about anything else. It was just life. And I think when you're when you're putting that out there and you're sharing their businesses and you're having groups go into their places and try and get them some some notoriety and some exposure, there's just a a level of caring and authentication there that they're like, this guy actually cares about me. It's not about what what I could do for him.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

So, Ryan, you've always struck me as a very confident guy. Uh uh have you always been like that? Has it always been? Is it uh is it a nature or a nurture kind of deal?

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Uh I think it's just um I think it's a blessing, really. I think uh I I definitely wouldn't say um I've always been that way. I think growing up, again, I was a middle of nowhere, we lived on two and a half acres in the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma, right? So uh my my father worked a ton, my mom, but I grew up in the church and I grew up in that atmosphere of of really just feeling like and being raised in the premise that you have a mission every day, every minute. Like you don't know who you're gonna talk to. So put yourself the best version of yourself out there, um, and let everybody know get to know you, right? Because it's the connections that you make that'll make tomorrow. Um, and if you do a bad job today, you may not get that tomorrow with that person. Um, so it's there's a fine line between arrogance and confidence, right? Um, but I also would say some of that is the military, some of that is doing what I did for you know, the narcotics work for 17 years, where you're sort of on an island and you're working by yourself and uh you don't have anybody but to rely on but yourself uh and your belief system, right? And so um I spent a lot of time in prayer, a lot of time in conversation just to really get to know, you know, where I stood and what what really made me who I am. Um so yeah, I think it it comes across as as confidence, but um sometimes at the same point you gotta fake it till you make it too. Uh a lot of times in life you don't always know. Um, but if you walk in nervous, if you walk in, you know, with that lack of confidence, it's gonna be red. Um and so sometimes you have to give off the persona that, yeah, I know everything, uh, even though in the back of your mind you're like, I don't know everything, but I know where to get the answer, right? And so through those conversations with people, it's one of the first things you'll hear me say um when I'm having those conversations is I don't expect myself to be perfect, right? I'm human, I'm gonna make mistakes, whether it's in conversation or whether it's in business or it's or you're gonna ask me stuff. If I don't know those answers, the first thing I'm gonna tell you from an integrity standpoint is that's a great question. I really don't know, but I promise I'll get back to you with the answer. Uh and then I think the expectation there is you do what you say you're gonna do, right? And I think that's where the confidence is, is because I don't feel like I have to I'm not making stuff up, right? I'm confident enough to know that no matter what happens, I'm gonna walk out the door and I'm gonna be the same version of myself because I was honest in the moment that I had to be.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Yeah, Brian, I think that's so good. Like uh some people have limiting beliefs that their business are imposter syndromes. Maybe I'm too new or or I I don't know if I can have a conversation with this person. But if you network with really great people, there's a lot of different ways you could add value to someone else that goes way beyond yourself. It could be like, oh, let me introduce you to so and so. Uh and they could add value. Absolutely. Uh Ryan, you are a collector of great business owners. Uh, you know some you have a good network, people who are high integrity. Um why don't you give a couple shout-outs? Uh, people who do it the right way. How did you meet them? And then um what do you love about collaborating with them?

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Yeah, um there's I mean, I like you said, I've got network all the way up and down the front range, right? So I've got a a really good group of people that I meet with twice a month down in Highlands Ranch. Um and honestly, I just met them on social media. They were looking for somebody in my line of work that would add character to the group. Um, and one thing led to another. And uh I've been there for going on two two plus years now. Uh I've got a connection, uh, a group, networking group here in the Thornton slash Westminster group. I've been doing that for going on five years. Um, and then obviously with NIA doing that now down here in Lafayette, trying to help grow that chapter. So there's a lot of great people, man. Uh, and and from, you know, I'd love to give shout-outs. The problem with that, as you know, um, I've got, you know, I try to build a network. I think it's important for me, not only with my clients, but people that I know to be that connector. Um, because if you're if somebody's looking for a real estate agent, they're everywhere, right? Um, just like you know, my line of work, I tell everybody we're like Starbucks, we're everywhere. If you look hard enough, you're gonna find one. Um, but the reality is it's finding the ones that I know. So I try to keep three or four in pretty much every category possible. Um, and so if there's an industry out there, you know, that someone's looking for, I'm I'm super confident that I can find somebody that not only fits them personally, um, but fits exactly what they're looking for. And I trust them explicitly to take care of them on a personal level. Just think that's super important. Um, so um, like I said, I I've been very confident in the group of people and I'm always looking to grow. You can never have enough.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Well, I love that you highlighted that, hey, I'm I I've collected groups and they're they're um they're up and down the front range. How do you find the groups and then how do you balance um your efforts between the the different ecosystems that you network?

SPEAKER_01 15:06

No, that's a great question. I think when you and I met, right, like um we were coming out of COVID, right? COVID was a huge thing. When I I think for me going back and looking at where I where I started to where I'm at, I mean, I think back to to COVID as sort of the precipice behind my networking, right? I was just starting uh my business as far as what I do now. And coming out of that, I had closed the door I sold the gym up in Longmont. I started doing what I do now, and I remember going through COVID or prior to COVID, I was door knocking, right? Like that was my way of meeting people. I had literally no network outside of law enforcement and and youth athletic training, right? I coached kids, I was a basketball and youth athletic coach for a long time and knew a ton of people there. Um, but I didn't know anybody to do where I could find help now. Didn't have a network, didn't have uh, didn't have anybody in my networking group, right? And so trying to build that business, I was door knocking uh for uh about seven months, and then COVID sort of shut everything down, right? We met um about a year into that process, um, and I was trying to find a group, but you know, every group has what I do, right? Has somebody in that group. And so I had to start one, had to start one from scratch with you. And um that was that was an experience of like, okay, I know I need it, how do I do it? Right. And not having that experience is exactly what I'm talking about of trying to build, um, but to find the right people to build with. Um, it's important that you find people that are not just there for themselves, that you find people that want to collaborate. So starting the one here in Thornton, that was right through COVID. Um, highs and lows of of doing that. Um, and then the one in Highlands Ranch, honestly, I just wanted to expand, right? I wanted to to to grow. It's an hour drive down to where we meet. It's an hour drive back. So it's it's a tool, right? And it's an extension of my business. I don't do a ton of um business down there. So how do I get access to a different network, right? I have to look at that as an opportunity. And and a realtor at the time, she's not no longer here in the state. She lives in Chicago now, but she was looking to start her own group. So um ultimately she posted it out there. I jumped on it. Um, and it's been fun. I mean, we we went from, I think we were about 18 members last year. We're at about 40 now. Nice. Uh, we just blew it out of the water, and it was really just trying to say, here's what we do, here's why we do it, uh, we're gonna present it in a different way. It's completely free, and we're gonna be able to be there for you as your relationship grows. And it's been a lot of fun, right? Um, and so there's um there's challenges with that. Um, we're we're capped out on the space that we're we're in. And um, but I'm always looking for different opportunities, right? When when you started NIA and we were up in in Windsor, I was there at the I think one of your very first uh OG meeting right there. I was one of your very first people, and and you had basically said, Hey man, I'd love to have you on board. So then that was another 45 minutes to an hour drive up there, right? And uh I, you know, I I stepped aside from that one at first after a couple months just because of drive time and construction. It was taking me too much to get out of the office early enough to get up there. But as soon as you launched the one down here, it was a no-brainer, right? So I think I think part of that is I'm looking, I'm always looking to grow. Um, but I also look at that and say, if you're doing the right things, when those type of things pop up, you're gonna be top of mind, right? You're gonna be somebody that somebody says, I'm starting a group or there's a new group and I want this guy in it. Um, and that doesn't happen if you're not authentic with them, right? If you're not doing it for the right reasons and you're not putting other people first, you're not gonna be top of mind. You're not gonna be an opportunity that they're gonna look at, right? And and I know that the one in Highlands Ranch, I just met her randomly, but the reason why I got the position is because she was looking to start two and I was quick on the button to say, I'll take one and I'll find you somebody else. There you go. Right. And so finding her somebody else took that off of her plate and then just allowed me to grow into it. Um, and when she eventually closed the second group and sort of molded them into one, I had already done the work to say, I want you to stay, right? We'll let her, you know, find another group. And so again, it just goes back to to being authentic and and knowing your place and then putting other people first to make sure that you are top of mind.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Yeah. Well, I think that's it's key because there's a lot of uh industry exclusive groups where you're the one person per profession. Yeah. Um, and if you're a real estate agent, mortgage lender, roofer, it's really, really hard to find an opening. Yeah. Um, so starting your own is a lot of times the the the way to build a referral group. Um that's a different skill set, would you say, is like being a connector, growing a group, growing a network. What tips would you have to somebody who's trying to grow a network?

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Yeah, I think the cool part about starting a group is one, I've been in both, right? Where I started one and I've been in one where I sort of take, took a seat from somebody else that had left, right? That comes with its own challenges because you come in to, in a lot of cases, whether it's a group of 30 to 40, they have a relationship with that former person. We don't know how long they were been there, but there's a relationship there. So you come in when I've gone into those, I go in and basically tell everybody, like, I'm here to get to know you. My goal is not to necessarily steal your business from the other person. My goal is to make sure that moving forward, you respect and like me enough that we're gonna do business together. Uh, and so when you approach it that way, it's like, oh, pressure's off. It's not just trying to get my business, right? Uh, and so when you're growing one from scratch, right, and you're you're the first one, two, or three, you know, member in that group, again, I think it's finding people that are wanting to be a part of something that's not just pushing business, right? You you turn people away just as much as you accept them. Uh, and some of that's through the interview process of just saying, I want to work with people that want a partnership. If you're just going to come here and try and take, take, take, it's not a good fit. Right. And so I think some of that from from building one is going out and not putting a time frame on it, not putting pressure on yourself to feel like I have to grow tomorrow, right? Because as soon as you do that, you're willing to take other things. You're willing to take, you know, new members in the group that aren't an ideal fit. When instead you can say, I don't have to grow tomorrow, right? I'm good where I'm at. I want to grow, but I want to do it with the right people. I want to do it with the people that actually are going to make a difference, not only for myself, but to the other members in the group. And I think that's where it comes is like, you know, um, finding those people that, hey, I see, I see how talented you are, I see how great of a person you are. I want you to succeed. This group's gonna help you succeed. So come join me in this and we're gonna build it together. Right. And I think if you sell it that way, that's that's really what motivates people, right? Instead of walking in and being like, man, I don't know if I can do this. This, it's not my thing. Um, but if you can tell them, like, hey, I know this will work for you, you just got to trust me uh and allow me to grow with you, that that makes a huge impact. And it really does incentivize them to say, I think I have a friend and partner in this that wants to see me succeed, so I'm gonna jump on board.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Yeah, and that confidence goes back to that as well. Because if you send, hey, you should do this, I think you'd be great. Yeah, and you're confidently saying that, um, it gives people an internal belief that, well, if Ryan believes it, then I probably can. Right. Um, you know, the the other thing that that provides as like a business superpower is Ryan, you're you're a person people say yes to. Yeah. Right. If I'm gonna build this, I'm gonna lead this team. People say yes to that idea. Uh, and not everybody has that. Not everybody has that level of influence. Um, is it just confidence or is there some more to it?

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Um, well, I'll go back to what I said before. I I think um I'm I'm super confident in the fact that I know I'm here for a reason, right? I know that I have more to give. Uh, and I know that the more people that I connect with, the more I can help them. Right. And so whether you are going to be a client or whether you know somebody that's going to be a client, the reason why I'm here today is because God asked me to be here, right? Like I walk into every room knowing that in the back of my head, that truly to my core, that's my foundation. Uh, I don't walk in a door just assuming that I just showed up by accident, right? Uh, and so I think if you approach life in that manner, um, obviously that's my personal belief. But I think if you walk into the room believing that that's why you're there, and and at some point, everybody you make contact with, you're going to impact them one way or the other, good or bad. I think, at least for me, having that mindset allows me to be more personal because I want to make an impact. I want to make sure that I'm doing the right things, right? And so what I what I tell people is just give me an opportunity at the table because I'm gonna win the business, right? That that doesn't mean I'm gonna win it every single time. It doesn't mean I'm gonna win every single argument. But I think if you put yourself in the fight, you have a better chance of winning, right? And so I walk into that room super confident, knowing that I don't have all the answers. I don't know what I'm about to face, but I know I'm gonna walk out and I'm gonna be better and and somewhere along the line, I'm gonna make an impact. So I plant seeds. Yeah, I meet people, I learn what what they need. Um, and then the next time I talk to them, I can say, Hey, how's your kid? Like, how's business going? What what can you know what's going on in your life? Right. It's those personal things that matter. Um, because you know, I've won clients over that I didn't even know would be clients. So just having a conversation or a coffee, getting to know them, sitting there for 45 minutes to an hour, and then they go, I think we should talk about my stuff, right? And you're like, okay, well, that that took a turn, right? But the premise there is again, walking in, knowing my goal is to get to know you, my goal is to figure out how we can do this together. And if I can win your business, great, right? But if you refer somebody to me or I'm meeting somebody for the first time, I I absolutely do believe that I can do better for you than where you're from or where you're where you're at currently. And um, I my my goal in getting out of bed and going to work every day is to continue to do that because the more people I can help, the better off they're going to be. And that's an honest, true belief in in what I do and what I bring to the table.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Right on, right. Well, great conversation. I've loved this. So many good takeaways, some nuggets uh about how to show up more confidently. But um where can people network with you? Where's the next event that you'll be attending if somebody wants to get connected with you?

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Yeah, uh I'll be at the next NIA meeting. Um, so we've got one this week, Wednesday night, uh, as our local chapter. And then any one of the next level networking events that we're gonna be doing here in the Lafayette area. Um, so my office is in Westminster. My family lives in Frederick, we're around all the time. Um, so happy to connect. Uh, let's grab coffee.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Right on, Ryan. Well, sounds good. Thanks so much for coming on the show. It's great to and we'll see you around Northern Colorado. All right, sounds great. Hey all, thanks for watching. I love networking and building relationships with other Northern Colorado business leaders. So if you want to come meet some of these podcast guests, meet me or meet some other amazing entrepreneurs in Northern Colorado, I would love to have you attend one of our next events. Uh, go in the podcast description. There's a way so that you can see our upcoming schedule. And maybe you could be a future podcast guest as well. Thanks.